LL Chapter 7

LL Chapter 7




I entered the cafeteria at lunchtime to find that Rose was sitting with us again. Well of course she was, Bella was gone at the hospital picking up her daughter. Damn, I always loved seeing the babies graduate out of the NICU. It was one of the few high points in the department.



As soon as I sat down at the table Rose decided to get on my case.



"Did you make her cry again, Edward? Is that the reason she left school again?"



"No, smartass, she left for the day because they are releasing her daughter from the hospital."



"Really?"



"Yes, really. Why the hell would I lie about something like that?"



"Because you're a jerk. And why the hell would she tell you anything about her daughter anyway."



"I don't know, Rose. Because, I've actually met and held the baby? Because we are lab partners and we have to start working on our semester project together and she was warning me that she was bringing the baby over with her?"



"What do you mean 'she's bringing the baby over with her?"



"They are coming over on Saturday morning to work on the project."



"Oh, damn, I have to work." I found it strange that Alice sounded upset that she was going to miss Bella's visit because they weren't exactly friends.



"I'm sure that you will get plenty of chances to meet Tanya. Apparently Mom has already agreed to babysit her when Sue's working for Dad." They all sat there looking stunned and it was effectively the end of any meaningful conversation at the table.



The next day I afforded my self the opportunity to sleep in a little again. I laid there wondering if Bella had gotten any sleep the night before. I don't think I would have. I would have been too terrified that something was going to happen to the baby to get to any sleep. Then I started wondering why I cared at all. I decided that I really did not care. and was just reacting from the loss of Isaac. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower to start getting ready for the funeral. Mom and Dad had agreed that I could just skip the whole day since I had to drive all the way to Port Angeles and back.



This was not the first funeral that I had attended a funeral like this, but it was never easy. No parent should ever have to bury their child. EVER. But these babies never even got a chance to start living, never made outside in the fresh air. I did not have to attend the funerals. That was not part of my job. But in my heart, while I always felt like I had to be to there to offer the parents my support and if I was being honest with myself, part of my reasoning was that I had allowed myself to get attached to the babies too.



By the time that I left the reception after the funeral, I went straight to the hospital for my shift in the NICU. But with Tanya being released the unit was patient-less. So, I decided to grab some doughnuts for the morning and a local bakery that I loved and headed home.



I was completely exhausted by the time that I dragged myself into the house. I sat the pastries down on the coffee table and collapsed onto the sofa intending to do nothing but sleep the night away. Mom woke me a couple of hours later to see if I wanted dinner. I told her that I wasn't hungry and was just going to head up to my room and to my bed.



I vaguely remember noticing that the pastry box was gone but I was too tired to comprehend much.



When I woke up the next morning, I realize that I never came up with any ideas for the project. Shit. This wasn't good. Not after the way that I treated her. I grabbed my laptop and ran downstairs to get a cup of coffee and a doughnut. But the doughnuts were nowhere to be seen. At all.



"Mom? Where are the pastries that I bought?"



"I'm sorry, Edward. Emmett, Rose, and Jasper came over last night and I did not even realize that they had finished off the box until they were gone or I would have saved you one."



I groaned. "Those were for this morning. Bella is coming over to work on a school project and bring Tanya."



"Oh. We thought you got them for dessert. I'm sorry, sweetie. I'll run out and get more if you want?"



"That's ok. I don't know that she would actually have eaten them anyways. She never eats anything but salads and water for lunch at school." For some reason she quirked her eyebrow at me but said nothing as she went back to washing dishes and I went to work trying to come up with some ideas for our project.



When Bella showed up an hour later with Tanya in tow, Mom grabbed the baby right out of Bella's arms and shooed us off to work on our homework.



"You know, it is the same thing at home. I'll be sitting there holding her and before I know it, someone is grabbing her from me and taking off with her." Bella laughed.



"At least your family is supportive and helpful. I had grabbed us doughnuts but my family snarfed them all while I was sleeping."



"That's ok. I'm on a strict diet. Doctor's orders—no junk food. Among other things."



"Well then, it's a good thing that Emmett showed up and is a pig so that you weren't tempted."



"It's a very good thing because I would have a very hard time saying no to a doughnut."



I had to struggle hard to fight back the urge to blurt out that she obviously had trouble saying 'no' to anything. But I did not want make her cry with my mom just in the kitchen. I would have been in major trouble for disrespecting a guest in our home.



"Now, I had an idea that is interesting. Well, to me at least, since I am going to become an architect. I was thinking about looking design considerations for solar cell powered homes."



"How do you plan on becoming an architect when you have a baby? College is completely off the table for you now."



"No it's not!" Bella said indignantly. "Just because I chose to have the baby does not mean that my life is over. I am going to college."



"Sounds like you've rehearsed that line."



"You're not the first person that has questioned my ability to continue my education just because I am mom. I when I delivered my baby my brain didn't come out with her." She snapped at me.



Having seen her angry and defensive before and not wanting to get punched again, I decided that apologizing would be a smart thing to do. And she apologized in return for snapping at me.



"I am not going to let them win by taking my dreams from me, too." Was all she said and she refused to elaborate on what she meant by that. So, we settled down to work on the project and got a really good start on the outline when we heard the front door open and Jasper coming in with Alice and Emmett. Bella made a bee line for Tanya and started packing her stuff to go.



"You don't have to go, you know. You guys can stay and hang out with us."



She looked shocked at my invite to stay but declined because Tanya's immune system wasn't very strong yet and she didn't want to take any risks with her. I understood that and walked her to her car.



"Bella, you said you named your daughter after you mom, right?"



"Yes." She leaned against her car.



"Rose said that your mom died."



Bella closed her eyes and sighed, but answered anyways, "Yes, she did."



"May I ask how she died?"



She hung her head, "I was at my six month check up. I was having a lot of complications with the pregnancy but they had expected that. They did another ultrasound that afternoon and we were finally able to tell that she was girl. I rushed home to tell mom. I found her in her room. She had washed two bottles of pain killers down with a bottle of vodka. It was my fault she felt so guilty about everything that had happened. I had Tanya that night." She was starting to cry, so I reached out to put my arm on her shoulder but she shrugged me off say that she would be just fine. And then she got into her car and was gone. I was left standing in the driveway dumbfounded about what she just confided in me.



A/N:



Ok. This is it for the weekend. I should be on twitter every so often but I will be busy. I don't generally get time to write on weekends and I know I won't this weekend. My 13 yr old niece is coming for the weekend and we are planning to channel our inner Alice's and hitting the mall. Plus we have a family outing to see Potter tomorrow night. So sad that's over. I will get replies to all reviews this weekend though.