LL Chapter 20

LL Chapter 20

Choking on My Chicken

“I think that you have to be the strongest woman that I have ever met.”



“I don’t feel like I am. Especially when things like what happened earlier tonight with the strawberries happens.”



“Jesus, Bella. Just because something triggers a bad memory for you, it doesn’t make you weak. I mean, you may not have been able to fight them off but you never gave up fighting. You kept fighting by making sure that they ended up in jail where they belong.” I reached over tentatively and took her hand in mine, “and Tanya, very few women would have kept a baby conceived through a rape. You are an amazing mother to her too.”



“The fighting back had a lot to do with Leah. When she came to see me in the hospital she told me that just because I was victimized didn’t mean that I had to be a victim. That became my mantra through the whole recovery process and trial. So even when the papers and magazines were calling me a lying whore, I kept my head held high. Dad and Sue kept saying that they may have won the first battle but I should not let them get away with winning the war. Dad, Sue, Leah, and even Seth were absolutely amazing through the whole thing.”



“Sounds like it. And from talking to your dad and Leah they still are, but don’t you ever just get angry with it all?”



“Oh, hell yes! Just ask my therapists and doctors. They’ve really gotten the brunt of my rages. There are so many days that I want to scream ‘why me’ and I want to throw things. Then I have times like earlier when I just want to hide under the bed, but I can’t because if I do then they win the war.”



“You know I rarely say this to anyone, but you’re pretty damn smart there, Bella Swan.”



“Wow. I am totally honored by that compliment.” She giggled and picked up the remote with the hand that I was not holding and started flipping through channels. She finally landed on a movie channel that was playing one of those old silent movies. As we settled in to watch it, I let go of her hand and pulled a blanket down off the back of the couch. It wasn’t long before I heard Bella breathing even out and looked up to find her asleep. I must have fallen asleep shortly after five, which was the last time I looked at the clock.



“Edward,” I heard my father’s voice as he tapped on my shoulder, “how did you two end up down here?”



“I had a bad dream and came down for a drink. She was already here and we got to talking and I guess we just fell asleep and why can’t I move my legs?”



“Because Bella’s using them as a pillow,” he said with a small laugh. Sure enough, when I managed to look down, I realized that not only did we both end up scooting down to a lying position but also she was wrapped around my calves and her head rested on my feet. “What time did you two fall asleep?”



“It was sometime after five.”



“Then I want the two of you to stay home from school. Get some sleep and rest.”



“Okay,” I mumbled and fell back to sleep.



When I woke a few hours later, I sat up, groaning and rubbing my face until I heard a giggle coming from somewhere close by. I peeked out with one eye, looking through my fingers to see Bella sitting on the floor playing with Tanya, “Good Morning, Sunshine!”



“How can you be so chipper right now? It’s fucking annoying.”



“Oh! Uncle Edward is a mister crabby pants when he doesn’t get enough sleep, isn’t he, baby?” She went back to tickling Tanya getting more giggles out of the baby.



“Let me get some damn coffee in me and I’ll be in a better mood. Wait a fucking minute…Uncle Edward?”



“EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN!” Mom came charging in the room, “Don’t you ever let me hear you swearing in front of a lady or a baby again or I will put Tabasco in your mouth! You hear me?”



“Yes, mom.”



“Good, now apologize to Bella for being so crude in front of her.”



“I’m sorry,” I said to Bella as Mom left the room and Bella started snickering at me. I stuck my tongue out at her and she started full out laughing at me, “oh shut up.”



“Don’t make me tell your mommy on you!”



“Brat!” I quipped at her with a laugh and made my way to the kitchen in search of caffeine and food.



An hour later, after eating and deciding that a shower was definitely necessary, I came out of my room to find Bella coming out of the guest room carrying a couple of bags. Oh right, I thought, she was going home today. I went over and started helping her take all of her stuff out to her car.



Before she left mom insisted that that Bella stay to eat lunch with us. When Bella was finally able to convince Mom that she really needed to go because she was running low on diapers and needed to stop at the store on the way home, I helped Bella by carrying Tanya’s carrier out to the car and buckling her in.



“Bella, I know that you have a house full of live-in sitters, but if you ever need a sitter call me, ok?” I told her as I handed her my cell number.



“Ok, and thanks for…you know…being a friend and being there for me to talk to last night.”



“Any time you need someone to talk to or vent to, call my cell. I don’t care what time it is, day or night.” She nodded and turned to get into her car but spun back around and gave me what amounted to being the quickest hug in history before jumping into her car and taking off.



I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room listening to music and thinking about everything that Bella had told me in the early hours of this morning. I am not a violent person but I wanted to kill those bastards for what they did to her.



I looked over at the calendar on my wall and realized that it was already the first of October. The fundraiser for Dad’s hospital was coming up soon; it was a ball, complete with evening gowns and tuxes. I sighed realizing that Alice was going to be getting on my case about not having a date for it, Mom just gave me these looks that plainly said that she was concerned about my lack of social life.



At seven, I went down to the dining room and sat down to a supper of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and salad. My gaze kept alternating between the empty chair next to my sister and the salad in the bowl directly in front of me. It seemed exponentially wrong that Bella wasn’t here to eat supper with us.



It hit me out of the blue what it really was that was bothering me about Bella not being here, and it absolutely shocked me to the point that I started chocking on my food as the realization took form in my head. I was a complete asshole for it, but I was falling for Bella Swan. How could I even consider wanting to go out with her when she was still dealing with all the shit that had happened to her.



But didn’t she say that she didn’t want that to hold her back from living her life? I was so immersed in my inner musings of my conflict; I wanted to go on a date with Bella but was it too soon for her? There was also the fact that it made me a complete hypocrite to want to date a teen mom. Yeah, my friends were going to let me have it for that.



There were two questions that I needed answers to first was willing to go out on a date at all and second, would she want to go out on a date with me? I knew only two people that knew Bella well enough to be able to help me. Angela was one of them, but I did not dare go to her. I may be an ass to most people most of the time, but I was not mean enough to go to a girl that had a crush on me for advice on how to ask out her friend. So, I had no choice but to go to her other friend for help, I would have to call Rose.









A/N:

I want to clarify that Edwards concern about dating Bella is not the fact that she was raped but is concerned she is not ready to date yet and doesn’t want to push her or hurt her. This might be it for the weekend as I have a busy one this weekend. School starts on Monday, how is it possible that my baby is in 8th grade?



This story is now only being posted on ffn and a blog; you can find the link on my profile. Thank you to everyone that reviews, you totally rock and make my day so much brighter!